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  • Writer's pictureBrenda Kotar

Day 2

Hi Friends,

It might get old that I thank you every time I post, but I am so grateful for everyone of you!! You are all holding me up during this time, the support has been AMAZING! You have been checking on my kids and sending me the nicest messages, that I don't feel worthy of, you are the support for the support for the frontline!! You are so important, it's a domino effect, you support me to support the frontline! I feel so lucky to have all of you!!


Thankfully I am still be "on-boarded" so I do not have an assignment yet, this has been a gift. I have been able to catch up on a total lack of sleep from all the anxiety of getting here, notifying my "normal" job, and yesterday I was a walking mess! I got 8 straight hours of sleep, then 3 more this morning after I went back to bed when I found out I don't have an assignment yet!


This is the way it works: There are 600 RN's in my hotel, with 500 more on the way, that's in addition to the 500 that are finishing up there assignments. It will take 3-4 days to get all of our paperwork through to the NY administrators and then they will call for us. The only problem is they are so inundated, when they ask for us, they just ask for 50 or 100 to go where ever the need is, without considering our specialty! Not the most effective way to take good care of people, but we are being told this is not the kind of nursing we are used to doing. We just need to save lives, chart what we can, be creative with supplies or the lack of. Last night when I packed my very small purse, I put 4 clorox wipes, gloves, my homemade mask, a paper mask to cover the homemade mask, until my friend Liz sends me an N-95. No lunch because we are suppose to survey the assignment before we take much with us. Then when I reported downstairs at 5:45, no assignment....but I sign in and get paid while I work on my other job, and blog about whats to come! So, don't feel too too bad for me yet!


Whats to come: We have been told some very disturbing facts about what is actually happening.

1. Nurses are on the brink of breaking, they have lost many co-workers who are out sick with Covid, or family members while they are trying to work to take care of the community.

2. There is little to no supplies, we will get PPE, if it's deemed necessary...which is why I am taking my own.

3. Take your worst day on the floor or unit you have worked, a day where you only peed one time and times that by ten!

4. Media is in the hospital 24 hours a day, we are not allowed to talk to them even if we have good things to say

5. What you are hearing on the news, times that by 3.

6. Hospitals are trying to keep quiet and camouflage how bad it really is to protect the patients and their families.

7. People are dying in waiting rooms, while waiting to be seen. They are dying at home and not being counted in the numbers yet.


What should you do:

It is coming to KC, it will spread, this could be a new way of life for us and we may need to adapt to it. No one likes to be the grim reaper and give bad news all the time, well maybe some assholes do, but I really don't. I am pretty happy go lucky or at least I try to be, but please please continue to stay home, please be very careful if you go out, wear a mask, gloves, gown....space suit, whatever you have...make your kids stay home. This is something we have never seen and do not know enough about, and it is not time to start getting back to "normal" I love you all and your kids, when I get back I do not want to take care of you in that kind of way. It could be construed as us hiding from the virus, and hell yes, hide from it as long as you can, at least until the really smart people figure out a way to vaccinate or effectively live with it.


Yesterday:

I did go out to Target to get the tank tops for under my scrubs, that I forgot (eye roll). It was, as always, an adventure. My new friend Sierra went with me, we aren't suppose to go anywhere by ourselves. Oh, and my friend Daniel is here from our Simulation Lab, I ran into him yesterday and we have been sharing educational videos on how to use a ventilator. They told us "just know how to turn it on"....OK, well it's just a little harder than that! Anyway back to the Target trip. The homeless population are about the only ones on the streets as the shelters have been shut down (very sad). So on our way back with all of our newly purchased items, we were very popular with the homeless...like water for the desert! I almost just gave all my stuff away to them, except the tank tops! I finally had to tell one of them that it was for my kids, obviously a lie, but I felt like a total jerk walking with all this food and gatorade and not helping them....I can't save them all I guess. I will attach some pics I took, is the Empire State building (that for some reason, Im sure sleep deprivation, I keep calling it the Eiffel Tower), theres a pic of my view from my room, and of the clorox wipes that I have been told to keep in my safe, along with masks and gloves, and the paparazzi trying to get my picture! This was a long one, but I had SO much to tell you and I didn't even include everything! I will try to post everyday and be a little more positive.....










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