Morning of....

Woke up at 4 and can't fall back to sleep, can't turn my brain off, ugh! I'm sure I am going to be really sorry in a few days when I look back on this "boring", all the time in the world to sleep and I'm up blogging! I would love to tell you this is exciting and awesome, but it's not as exciting as it looks...it's scary. It's scary the same way it was when I first learned of this virus, it's the unknown and going into the unknown. My purpose of creating this blog is for you all to have a glimpse into my journey, the good, the bad, and the raw emotions that will not be all sunshine and rainbows. I also need to have a place to express my feelings, and hopefully give you the down to earth perspective of the reality of this. You may not like everything I say, or agree with it, and that's okay, you don't have to watch, this is why I created a private blog and am not posting all over social media. If my journey is too much for you, I totally understand. Also, fore warning, I use a lot of humor to get me through life, it's just who I am, probably some weird coping mechanism from my childhood. I should also tell you that I have never been to NYC, another fear of mine. I will not get to see NY for what is really is, I will see it in a broken way and that makes me sad. I am also afraid to see people suffering, as a nurse we like to see changes and improvement and I am afraid I won't get to see that, so I will try to cherish the little bits of positive changes, the hope, and get strength from the other nurses who have been fighting this battle long before my arrival and will continue to fight it after my departure, they are the true hero's, until next time friends!